


#2 - A well deserved happy new year

by godrics_quill22



Series: Isaac Lahey Diaries [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, Hope, Moving On, Past, gratitude, new year's eve fic, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 13:15:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3121535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godrics_quill22/pseuds/godrics_quill22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>isaac shares his New Years wishes with his diary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	#2 - A well deserved happy new year

#2 - A Well Deserved Happy New Year...

Life is full of surprises, yes I'm very aware of that. Too aware of that, in fact, it should be wrong but I also realize that the biggest surprise of it all is learning how to deal with these surprises, most of which hadn't been pleasant. 

As a kid with a wild imagination, I had built a very fulfilled future for myself in my brain. What I wished to do, how I wished to do it, who I wished to be with... But of course that was all it had been. 

Wishes. 

I had imagined moving to somewhere in East Africa or Asia to study medieval art or something as equally technical, maybe get married at thirty,have a hoard of little Laheys with curly blonde hair, come home for the holidays to see my family, -my mom, dad and brother- but of course that was the part of the dream that had turned foggy and blurry. 

That was the part of the dream I imagine I would never live because Camden and my mom are gone, and so is my my dad, only a few months ago, the memory still a raw one to me but the most suffocating of it all had been the relief I had felt when my dad died. 

And sometimes, when I think about what he was like before my mom and brother died, I miss him. I start to feel ashamed and guilty for being happy that he's not here anymore because I know he was just hurting but then I remember that what he did to me- it wasn't fair, it wasn't right and that I have every right to be relieved that he's gone and can't hurt me anymore. 

It sucked too. A lot because I would come to school and hear all these cool stories other boys had about camping with their dads and going to football games and I didn't have that anymore. It's tough sometimes like on his birthday or during Christmas, even though I have spent every Christmas since my mom and brother died out in the snow, alone and freezing. 

Being bitten, given the bite, whatever the term was, that had certainly not been a part of my dreams but that made it a little bearable. Given, half the time, I'm running for my life or fighting to stay alive but there was a thrill that comes with that. The thought that I am at least given a choice... 

That sure as hell beats whatever I have grown to accept but the pack makes it easy. My dad, the dad I loved, died along with my mother and brother and as if waking up in another universe, i find myself with a new family that makes everything else bearable. Perhaps the scars on my body have faded and my wounds have healed and the mental and emotional ones may never heal but now, I don't care much for the scars or the losses. Maybe it's high time I moved on from all that. 

Maybe it's time for me to care about those people who have given me the priviledge of knowing that awesome feeling when someone is making an effort to make me smile, like Stiles, and Scott, and in his own way, Derek. And those who gave me the chance to love, like Erica...and Boyd, and Allison. As well as those who gave me a medium of letting out my anger. Like the twins, because admittedly, hating them had felt really really good. 

Yeah Maybe this year won't be my happiest but given the odds as compared to last year, I'm hoping for it. I'm hoping against all hope that it turns out to be.


End file.
